I thought I wouldn't care. But then, why did I catch myself looking out of the window to check if the black toyota camry is in the parking lot or not? Most of the time, it weren't there. The emptiness that filled the house started to creep into my heart. I felt bitter, hurt, and these feelings started to sting my eyes... but each time, i told myself not to be such a fool again. I've shed enough tears, so don't waste anymore of it on this.

I had to learn to ignore these feelings. This isn't new. But yeah, i'm foolish enough to create some sort of bogus hope. Hope! No more of it in our relationship, for sure. If they ask me, the sun would have risen from the West! Anyway, it's good isn't it. I'm already being excluded, the odd one out. Moving out, being on my own just justified it. We won't need to put up false pretence anymore.

I went to visit Yuriko yesterday. She showed me around fifth floor of Parker dormitory. I took a look at the public bathroom, and I couldn't think of myself not having a bathroom in my own place! Yuriko is going to Oregon as an exchange student next semester (otherwise, we could be roommate next spring). Now, i'm thinking of following her footstep of applying to be an exchange student. Then, I wouldn't be stuck in this boring (and sorrowful) Stillwater anymore! And I still don't know if I should apply for the school scholarship or not :S I wish I was Peterpan never having to grow up and worry about so many things!

On the lighter note, I have finished decorating my apt. Since there're two rooms and only me, I decided to turn the bigger one into my bedroom and the other one into my study room. Here are some of the photos.

Living Room

Photo corner

Bedroom

Study Room
My Fridge!