Yesterday was fun! Supporting the indonesian team. WEll, it's not really indonesia. There were malaysians, a chinese and a caucasian. Not enough people! Anyway, the team was thrashed or should I said humiliated 7-0 by africans and 5-0 by japan??? but nothing could dampen our spirit. We were there, participating and supporting, just for fun... and fun we got! I think the last time i did this was during inter-class tournament at zhss.


After the match, it's dinner time. I didn't realize how late it was until I checked my watch when I got to the restaurant. It's 9.30pm!!! No wonder the restaurant wasn't crowded at all. Time flies when u're enjoying yourself. I think that was the happiest time since I came here!

Liverpool beat Middlesbourgh 2-0. The goal scorer??? STEVEN GERRARD!!!

I liked his first goal. So beautifully executed... "Zenden's neat pass dropped into Gerrard's path 25 yards out - and the captain crashed the ball low past Mark Schwarzer" (soccernet). 25 yards!!!

The second was from the spot kick. Crouch was fouled and penalty was awarded to Liverpool. Gerrard took it. This time, I was so sure that he's gonna convert it. His confidence would high, no pressure. And I'm right.

The gunman of the VT shooting was released and as it turned out, he was a quiet guy who suffered from depression. I just thought what kind of things he had went through to be able to do such thing. The media was saying that there might be signs of him being a "troubled" kid with the gross plays that he wrote, etc. But how could the students know? How would the teacher know?

Then, when I was viewing my MSIS exam 2 paper at the prof. office, a guy came in to take his quiz. His reason for missing it: his sister passed away. And his sister was just 18 yrs-old! He said that it was heart attack. Her heart just stopped while she was brushing her teeth. I was so shocked to hear it, so was the professor.

You never know what will happen. Uncertainty... Life is full of uncertainty!

My condolences to the victims of the Virginia Tech University shooting. The deadliest shooting in the US history.

Shocked filled me when I heard of another school shooting...I wonder how a person could do such a thing. What drive them to do it?

This is just a reminder of how things could go wrong ,and how we should value our days. I'm gonna call my mummy later...

A cold, cold Spring semester. My first spring.... turned out to be just like Winter time :(

I finally completed the A draft for my english paper!!! So happy!!!

There's a world cup soccer between international students groups and indonesia is participating and they're in the same group as Africa n Japan! I wish them lotsss of luck. They really need it. I'm not sure how good the group is, but i know japan is very good! Africa, I think so. All the best, selamat berjuang!

I did some reflection... My family's the best!!! I know I complained how bad my family is, how i wish i'm in different family... sometimes, but honestly, I wouldn't trade to be in another family. My parents shows no favoritism, well they seem to care more about my younger siblings, esp. my sis and sometimes I do feel neglected, but I'm wiser now. I know the reason behind it. My parents listen to what we, the children, have to say and value our opinions. Three of us get along very well with each other. And I hope we won't let adulthood, marriage, and family life come between us. I don't want us to be like my dad and his siblings. We have to learn from the last generation!

Now, my dad is practically running the "family" business himself. Travelling from Jakarta to Tanggerang (about more than an hour, sometimes more than 3 hours due to the traffic jams) daily to oversee the workers. Some "family" business!!! And whatever my dad earned (for the company), he has to split it with the other siblings. Father and son are the same!!! (talking about my uncle and his son!!!) I'm really worried that all those travelling will take a toll on my dad's health. That's why. I want to graduate soon, find a job,and provide for my family. I don't want my dad to work that hard anymore.

random entry, i know.

Back from work... and I was so clumsy... AGAIN!!! This time, I spilled shredded cheese!!! I was holding the packet of cheese by the plastic package when it suddenly torn apart and cheese spilled all over the floor!!! Steward saw it and helped me out. We tried to sweep the cheese as quickly as possible before Eric saw it.Well, in the end, Eric still saw it, but only after we managed to sweep most of it off. Last week, it was Steward who chuang huo when he spilled the wrapping paper all over the floor. I helped him out, so it's his turn to pay me back!

I brought a CD that has Sun yan zi's Yu JIan, and guess what??? Many, well only Lo and Steward, liked it and they kept playing it over and over again, especially Steward. Haha... It's my favorite song too. The lyrics reflect an aspect of my life!

Then, another thing... I always thought that an elder brother would dote on the younger siblings more than an elder sister. I don't know why or when I have such a view. May be because on tv, I always see the big brother is always so protective of their siblings(usually younger sister), and i felt that my bro n sis are close to each other than me to either of them. May be our age gap plays a part. Well, certain things happen and made me rethink of view. He, same as me, has a younger bro n sis. And I don't see him buying stuffs for them or even talk to them on the phone at all. And he always called them bad names (like botak and chu ba jie). I did call my bro and sis names sometimes, but not that mean, I think, and I won't keep calling them that. So, overall, I felt that I'm a better and more doting elder siblings than he is. I really miss my siblings, I miss one of them more than the other. I won't say who (cause I know my sis would read this :P ) Just now, at work, where the guys were the majority, I took the opportunity to ask the guys if they have a younger sibling (s) and if they missed them. Many, or almost all, of them said NO!!! I was shocked!!! Asagi even said that he missed his dog, but he doesn't miss his brother! My conclusion based on this, an elder sister is better than an elder brother!!! Haha...

I should have done this for my english research paper. So much more interesting, but I think I would have a hard time finding sources to support my points!

sooo irritating!!! Chelsea won!!!!
Liverpool vs Chelsea again!!! Honestly, I'm more worried that Liverpool won't be able to beat Chelsea. I'm more confident of liverpool beating valencia, see.

Anyway, it would be interesting to see a Liv vs Man u Final!!! But I prefer not to. I think I know who will win if they meet. A kwa will be vy happy with what i think!

Still can't believe man u beat roma 7-1. Should have watched that match! Goal fiesta!!! I spent my tuesday afternoon taking a much needed nap!!!

Finals are coming!!! I want final to come and be over. Then I would be back!!!! I miss my family sooo much, I miss my friends very much tooo (must mention family first mah...) Yeah, I can still speak Singlish! And no, I don't have American accent. I want to preserve my unique accent! Haha...

It's feel so much better to receive something!!! Haha...

I regretted working last night. I was so tired today and I still have test later in the evening. And I got block nose!!! ARGH!!! Must be the weather! It's April! It's suppose to be warmer! But it's back to winter time again! What's wrong with the weather! Global warming!!! Erratic weather pattern.

Chelsea vs Valencia tmr. I want Valencia to win. Gooooo Valencia!!! You MUST win at home!!! Draw 0-0 also ok. Win by away goal! As long as Chelsea don't go thru to the semi, i don't care what's the scoreline!

Happy Easter!!!

I remembered the sermon that I attended 2 years back on Easter Sunday. The priest was saying how we should remember and celebrate Easter sunday as the resurrection of Jesus Christ and not about the decorative eggs and easter bunnies.

Anyway, i will be spending my easter sunday revising for stat. exam and working.

the gathering went well yesterday. It was a little boring, but if u have someone to talk to, it became more lively. I didn't cook the soup! My aunt cooked it. She woke up early and decided to cook the soup herself. I was both thankful and disappointed. I didn't know why she decided to cook the soup herself instead of letting me and ani cooked it. I know my mum wouldn't. Well, may be she will helped me cooked one pot, but she would let me cook the soup or wake me up to remind me of the time and the soup. I think the latter is better. You have to let your children to learn to be responsible, no? Oh, I miss my mum. I miss my family. I miss my friends!!! I miss home!!!

WE watched the video of the Cultural Night after lunch, and it was filled with jokes and laughter. I really felt that we did a very good job. May be the only aspect that we lost to Japan was in terms of flow. Japan's performance was very continuous, there's not much pause here and there. So, it became more powerful, I guess.

And a funny stuff happened at work last night. Steward liked this chinese girl whom the twins happened to know and he kinna assumed i know her too. He asked me to teach him some chinese, like how to ask if she has a bf, and how to ask her out for a date. Then, he kept bugging me about her. He asked me if i think she has a bf, if the twins like her, blah.... It's really funny. I've never had such a conversation with a guy before!

It's back to winter weather again :( This the most irritating part with Oklahoma weather. When u thought winter was over , it came again!

Anyway, my body felt rather weird lately. It gets chilly easily. I haven't been getting enough sleep, well I felt as if I didn't get enough sleep when I had around 8 hours of sleep every night. Nap just made me more tired...

I met Farrell just now. Know him from the cultural night. We talked and i think he will think of me now as a daddy's or mummy's girl. When he asked who I lived with, I said my cousin, sung. I hate it when ppl asked that. It's not that I want to live with him. it's more like no choice. I wanted to live in the dorm, but my dad wouldn't let me. That's what I told Farrell, too. then about the summer when i told him that my parents won't let me to go back to stillwater earlier to take course. So everything also my parents :( Well, it's true. Even with the distance, my parents, esp. my dad, still has control over me. If I defy him (which i used to in my teenage years. I'm no longer a teenager as of feb 19!) again, i think it would hurt him even more now.
I should not think too much of what others think of me!!! So what if the first (or the third now) impression that he has of me is that i'm a girl who's scared of her parents. I think i just want to give a good impression to people whom I have just met. Well, everyone does that, no?

I can't wait for next semester when i can move out. That is if i get the apt. I applied for. I hope I will. I don't want to say that I live with him. Honestly, I really would rather live with a stranger than him (after all those things he put me through!!!). *sigh* LIFE!!!

The indonesian organization is having a party to celebrate the cultural night. I volunteered to cook soup. Dunno what came over me !!! I think I just want to do something or show that I can contribute, too. Now, I have to cook soup for 40 people!!! That many! I don't even know if I have enough pot. More importantly, I don't even know if the soup will taste good :(

Liverpool thrased PSV 3-0!!!! Gerrard scored a header!!! I know it's still too early to say that liverpool is in the Semi, but i also know that Benitez won't let liverpool sit on their laurels, so keep up the good work, reds!!! Chelsea drew with Valencia. I hope Valencia will win at home! I'm relishing for a show down btw the Reds and Rafa's old club, Valencia!!! Besides, Chelsea vs Liverpool so boring!!! Time for another opponent, please!

Here are some photos from the cultural night....
I am somewhere in the PHOTO... haha...

Cultural Night is over!!! The winner for big group performance was Japan and the winner for small group performance was Nepal. INdonesia was in the big group performance category. We felt that we had done such a great job, especially with the Tari Saman. I heard that Japan have been doing the dance every year. But for first time watcher, like me, their performance was really good and powerful!

Anyway, I'm glad the cultural night is over. I can at least take a breather now. But I think I will miss the companion of all of them. My bahasa indonesia may not be very good now, but I can still interact with them and understand what they're talking and joking about. It reminds me of 4e1 gathering. I will post some photos when I get them.

Well, now it will be time to catch up with my studies! One more month... to Summer Break!!!

Well, since I couldn't post many photos, I decided to described my disney world trip as short and interesting as possible.

Day 1

Magic Kingdom

We were very confused of where to go, how to use the Fastpass, which places to visit first,etc. We walked in an anticlockwise direction and went to the Tomorrowland first. Took a ride in the tomorrowland transit authority, astro orbiter(my cousin, Ani,kept screaming as she was scared when the ride went up and down in a circular motion. She made me scared too :( ) Went to watch Stitch's Great Escape, the place sprayed water and garlic smelled fume, stitch's breath! Dared myself to take a ride from the Space Mountain. My sis advised me to take it last as she said that I would be too scared to try anything else after that. I took it with my male cousin, Ana. We had a fastpass for it, but we still have to queue for quite sometime, mostly due to some technical problem. Some people left after waiting for a couple of minutes. I think we waited for around 10 to 15 min. A family left and right after they left, the ride was functioning again. Patience paid off! It was dark and scary and the carrier (or whatever you call it) turned left and right, up and down at a high speed. I was rather thankful that it was dark! At least I can't really see what's in front and be freaked out (some people may disagree with me).

Visited Micky's and Minnie's houses. Small, but cute!

Ride Splash Mountain- wet!!! We weren't because the boat plunged down, but because of the other boat plunging down as we went into the cave. It made us freeze as we waited patiently for the big plunged!!!

Ana and I took ride in the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. It was somewhat like Space mountain, but less ups and downs, just turning. Not scary! :D I became braver! Haha... After that, we managed to catch the last few night parade. Then, we rushed off to the castle to watch the fireworks. It was 10 minutes late!!! Anyway, the wait was worth it! The fireworks was so spectacular. They played a song about how dreams can come true if you believe in them. And for that few minutes, as I watched the fireworks and listened to the song, I believed that dreams do come true. Of course, after that, reality knocks in!

Day 2

Epcot

We felt very tired from the trip to the Magic Kingdom. We weren't really energetic. Anyway, we queue up for an hour for Soarin' You sit down and the screen will show places like Golden Gate bridge, mountains, lakes, etc. It makes you feel as if you're flying.

Next, we watched "Honey, I shrunk the audience" A 3-D movie. We were sprayed with water again :(

next, we ride Misson:SPACE. There're 2 option, green and orange. The orange was more intense and we felt a little motion sickness after that. But didn't throw up. We're tougher than that!!! Ana and I tried Test Track. We queued as Single rider as the queue was shorter. But we still managed to sit together. Sharing a car with us was a family of 4. The mother generously switched the places of her childern, so that we can be together. Anyway, we thought that single rider meant that we would be riding alone, but it's just that we would be split, we couldn't ride together.

Then, we visited Mexico, Italy, France, Canada, Japan... Epcot had a showcase of different countries. Different countries in just 5 minutes! Haha... Anyway, we kept taking a break. We looked a little, then sat down. My legs were killing me. It's like I wanted to walk and look around, but my legs were aching! Nonetheless, we still walked finished the entire countries. Oh, and in UK, there's a sport store selling some EPL clubs stuffs, like jerseys, scarfs, balls... And guess what's in the display window??? Liverpool's vintage jersey!!! I saw liverpool scarf and took photos with it. Wanted to buy it, but it was expensive $20!!! Now, I kinna regreted not buying it. I could earn the money back when I work next week :( Oh, well, I still have the scarf Ren gave me!

At night, despite the fatigue, my cousins and I went to Downtown Disney. There's a tendency to say Downtown East! The place was rather big! We didn't buy anything besides food(dinner), because the things were rather expensive and we wouldn't really need the stuffs (dolls, mickey's caps,etc). So, when we see things we like or found it cute, we just take a photo with it, but i still wanted to buy the eeyore doll in pajamas. He's so adorable. Yes, in case u don't know, I like Eeyore!

Day 3

Animal Kingdom.

We were a little less tired today. We were very excited to ride on the Expedia Everest. It's a new ride, just a year-old. And it's the no. 1 must ride in the disney world. How could we miss it? It was more frightening than Space Mountain definitely, and we train drove backward at a high speed. It was so fun!!! I wanted to ride it again, but the long queue contained the temptation. We proceeded to ride through the Kali River Rapids. We were wondering how wet we would be. We saw some people who came out a little wet and some soaking wet from top to toe. We concluded that the degree of wetness would depend on where you sit. I hoped I woundn't get to sit at the "wet" seat. (then again, if we didn't get wet, it wouldn't be fun, right?) Lord seemed to hear my last comment and Ani and I got the "wet" seats. As the boat went down the rapid, boom, water splashed right at us. We were soaking head to toe, while the rest of the riders we just a little wet. Ana was not very wet and he was not satisfied. So, Ani and Ana took another ride. I passed, I was freezing, and i didn't bring any shorts to change, I didn't want to make my jeans any wetter! Well, this time, both of them came out soaking wet! We changed and went back to the hotel. At night, we went to the Downtown Disney again. My aunt wanted to buy chocolates. I was still considering of buying the Eeyore doll. Then I saw another eeyore doll. A baby Eeyore. Soooo cute... Now, I couldn't decide which one to buy. I decided to think about it as we bought the chocolate first. After buying the chocolate, we entered another shop. And I saw an Eeyore... no, it's not another doll, but an eeyore cup... now, I have 3 things that I wanted to buy. Hmph... choices...

... I decided to buy the cup. it's more useful. besides, I still have the eeyore doll that my sis bought for me.

Day 4

Disney-MGM Studio.

There weren't many things to see. I would say that the main attractions are the rock n roller coaster starring aerosmith. Blast from 0-60 mph in 2.8 sec as you twist and loop thorugh Hollywood while grooving' to the best of Aerosmith. WE're brought upside down too!!! I think this was the scariest off all, scarier than the Everst one to me. May be because of the speed and the upside down part. I nearly lost my spec. The car was moving so fast that my spec was blown down to my nose. For a few sec, I was distracted in putting my spec in place that i was oblivious of the ride. Unfortunately, it was not the upside down part. Then, we went to the twilight zone tower of terror. We rode in an elevator and as we reached the 13th floor, we were brought up and down, up and down for 3 or 4 times! We felt as if we're flying as the elevator went down. Scary! The rest of the day were spent watching shows like 3-D muppet shows, Little Mermaid (we were sprayed with water again!!! It's like it's drizzling in the theater!). Ani and I took a photo with Chip and Dale and Mr. Incredibles. We totally felt like a child again!

In fact, i felt like a little girl again. I just wish that my parents and siblings were here with me. Then, we can act like little children again and pester our parents to buy things for us or let us ride in the scary rides! Haha...

Oh, Happy B'day Sista! Called yesterday, but u're still asleep!

Just came back from Disney World!!! Had so much fun!!! Tried out many rides. Didn't know i'm so courageous! Haha... It's scary, but fun! Well, let the photos do the talking!

Isn't this funny?

I lost my Eeyore key chain that YSK gave me as a farewell gift T_T

I was washing it as it was very dirty and then i put it in my jeans pocket. I think it dropped while I was walking home. I couldn't find it anymore. I'm very sad!!! I hope i can find a cute keychain in disney world.

Spring break is coming!!! Orlando, here I come!!!

Update....

I've got a bicycle, a second-hand bicycle. 4 years old, but still in good condition. I had to pump the front tyre though. Haven't found time to pump it, so haven't taken my first ride! Anyway, I finally able to have a bicycle. At least I don't have to walk to work on Sat anymore. It was busy last night. A game day, I suppose. Orders kept coming!!! A new guy, called Marco and Haruyuki kept going out to smoke. I was left to do things on my own. Felt like superwomen. Make pizzas, cut pizzas and sandwiches. Haha... Jeremy, who mend the register, came into the kitchen and was surprised to realized that there're only 2 of us! Haha... His expression was rather funny. Oh, he has an Asian gf! I think she's a vietnamise. Not sure. Anyway, i was tired with all the work, but at closing, I only swept the floor ( i prefer to stay away from the mop now) and arrage the utensils. Marco, especially Haruyuki and Geremy did most of the cleaning :P Then, Marco insisted on driving me and Haruyuki home. Kinna relieved not having to walk home.

there's a set-up collision outside the dining center. I thought it was a real collision. I saw a girl with red marks. My initial thought was she's bleeding and badly hurt, but it doesn't really look like blood, just red (marker) marks. When I read the college paper in the morning, then i dawned upon me that it's a set-up to discourage students from drunk driving! And it became clear why the girl's "blood" looked fake. It was fake!

I want to hit the sack now. Will get back my econ paper. I hope I did well. I don't want to destroy my mood before the spring break, u see.

Nite

Haven't been updating for some time. Yup, busy busy busy...

My break is coming and i'm really excited!!! I hope everything will go smoothly and I will have lots of fun. I know I will. I've never been to Disney world before! I hope my cousins n aunt will too.

I played soccer with my cousin just now. My stamina really deteriorates! We played for like 20 min and we're really tired! We sat down and talked... It's nice to have someone whom you can talk to. She agreed with me that her bro had been manipulated by the twins. Anyway, I have to study for Econ. *sigh* weekend spoiler!

Liverpool vs aston villa tmr!

Liverpool is playing PSV Eidinhoven in the quarter-final. They thrashed them in the group stage I hope they can trash them again.

LIverpool's throught to the Quarter final!!! I can't really say that they beat barcelona, caused they lost the second leg 1-0, but 2-2 aggregate with liverpool having an advantage with 2 away goal vs Barca's 1 put liverpool throught to the next stage :D

I'm sure Gudjohnson was offside!!!!! And crouch missed such a perfect opportunity at the last few minutes!!! I was sweating and kept wanting the referee to blow the whsitle. One more goal by Barca and that's it for Liverpool!!! Yeah!!!

I will also be going to Disney World!!! I really hope that the holiday will be perfect, I will forget all those hurtful stuffs I've been put through. I want a break! I need a break!!! So please let this one week be an enjoyable one. S said he wanted to go to. Honestly, I don't want him to go. It's not really because of the okc incidents. It's because "Ngapain zuo fei zi, wo gen tommy thomas hui jia che qu dallas..." (traslation " why must take plane to go holiday, I can drive to Dallas with tommy thomas). So, my reaction was "why take plane, why go Orlando, go Dallas lah, go drive!" I tell u he purposely shouted those words loudly so that I could hear it from my bedroom.

Anyway, I tried to buy ticket for him. I've bought the tickets for the rest with my card, but can't buy an extra ticket due to the limit. I tried to buy it using his card, but i din know what's wrong with his card. He tried by himself too. Then he gave up. But he didnt' seem to worry that smt may be wrong with his card or if he wouldn't be able to purchase the same ticket. I mean if he did, he could borrow cards from his 2 beloved cousins. He wants people to do things for him. Sorry, I'm not that kind, may be i was a little kind then, but not now. Not after he shows no respect towards me and acts as if his disrespectful behavior towards me is right.

I may become the bad guy here to some, for not getting him the ticket, but my conscience is clear. It is not my fault. I tried to help. I just want my family- my parents, siblings and the other family members who are close to me( my mum's siblings), and my close friends to know that it's not my fault. I dont' care what the others uncles and aunts of my dad side thinks. What they thinks don't really matter. They may think that they know me, but they don't. They don't spend much time with me now. What they know about me is what they hear from others and what they remember from the past. Me of the past is different from the person I am now. I just want people who knows me- the person I am now- to understand me and support me no matter what. And I thank you for that!

I wont' leave people out. Well, at least I will try my best not to. I know very well how it feels. May be he will feel it too. I hope he will! Then he will know how I have been feeling! Things happen for a reason, may this happen for this reason!

Anyway, Liverpool won :D :D :D

Work was rather hilarious yesterday. We're only entitled to free food worth up to $7 and had to write down what we took, but Lo didn't really care much about it. But Eric is very strict and fussy about it. Then, when it's near 5pm, time for Eric to come, Asagi and I quickly finished the food that we're eating. We kept looking around, asking each other "Is Eric here?" My cousins are here visiting and they wanted some pizzas home. I had made one earlier, and had to make another one (before Eric came), but I think he saw me making one for myself. Lo and Asagi told me to hide the pizza so that Eric wouldn't see it. But I decided to just write it down. I don't think Eric would not believe that I didn't have anything for the whole 6 hours... It's funny. it's like we're the mice who're playing around when the cat is away. lol. Also, Eric told each one of us, that we have to write down what we had. All of the people, except Becky, were complaining about him. Asagi said, "He WAS a good guy!" Steward was fooling around by frying some pepperoni. Yoshi muttered that we couldn't eat a pizza, but we can eat the ingredients! Haha...

I'm planning to go to Disneyland for my break :D Then Lo cursed me by saying that there will be a storm, Hurricane Katrina. Stupid LO!!!

I like working on Saturday! It's more fun!!! I'm thinking if I worked in TM, where most of the workers are indian, I don't think I would have such fun.

Work was rather hilarious yesterday. We're only entitled to free food worth up to $7 and had to write down what we took, but Lo didn't really care much about it. But Eric is very strict and fussy about it. Then, when it's near 5pm, time for Eric to come, Asagi and I quickly finished the food that we're eating. We kept looking around, asking each other "Is Eric here?" My cousins are here visiting and they wanted some pizzas home. I had made one earlier, and had to make another one (before Eric came), but I think he saw me making one for myself. Lo and Asagi told me to hide the pizza so that Eric wouldn't see it. But I decided to just write it down. I don't think Eric would not believe that I didn't have anything for the whole 6 hours... It's funny. it's like we're the mice who're playing around when the cat is away. lol. Also, Eric told each one of us, that we have to write down what we had. All of the people, except Becky, were complaining about him. Asagi said, "He WAS a good guy!" Steward was fooling around by frying some pepperoni. Yoshi muttered that we couldn't eat a pizza, but we can eat the ingredients! Haha...

I'm planning to go to Disneyland for my break :D Then Lo cursed me by saying that there will be a storm, Hurricane Katrina. Stupid LO!!!

Dilema.... I was split between going for english lesson or go for the extra credit for my MSIS class. I went there, but my heart told me that I should be in my English class. In the end, I went with my heart and go for my English class. I thought I would regret my decision ,but the english class was interesting. We watched a documentary about teen bullying and how it can lead to killing -- school shooting. It's a strong and provoking film. It made me realise how lucky I was not to experience much of bullying, the physical one, during my school years. All I have to worry about is my grades (and some other things, like cca...) I don't even care much about bgr. Honestly, having classmates or peer that are younger than you helped. I'm not interested in any of them. I like older guys. Well, I do have some crushes on the senior, but it's just a small crush, it didn't affect me much. Anyway, here's some facts about bullying from the film:

-Excluding, spreading rumors, intimidation, teasing, physical attacks are bullying.

Kinna surprised!

Note, excluding is bullying---- I am being bullied :(

Liverpool vs Man U tmr. I want liverpool to win. Please win liverpool!!!

I received my card from A kwa . He didn't lie to me!!! Haha.... Happiness filled me when I looked at the card indicated for me. I knew right away it's from Akwa, his small handwriting is still the same. Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy cause it's from Akwa, but i'm happy cause it's the first b'day card I received this year!!! I can't wait for REn's. She said she will send it by this week.

Stupid Akwa, he said that i'm very old, he even say nin, instead of ni!!! What do u mean by that???

Also, thanks for the stamps! I really appreciate it!!!

The departed was a big winner at last night Oscar. Ellen Degeneres was so comical!!! She should host the Oscar again next year! The departed was adapted from The Internal Affair. I guess this shows that Asian movies are good! No, it's excellent, even those from Hollywood adapted it!

It's so cute when Jaden Smith and Abigail from Little Miss Sunshine presented the awards together. And you could see how proud will and jada smith were!

I think there're a few surprises, including the leading actor. Many were predicting Eddie Murphy to win. Anyway, watching awards show always makes me wonder if I win an award, what would my acceptance speech be. Hmph...

Liverpool trashed Sheffield United 4 to nothing!!! Gerrard scored the fourth goal before he was substituted by Alonso. What a nice way to leave field. Also, I wonder if he will dedicate the goal to Lilly-Ella. Liverpool really played well. I guess their morale got a huge boost by the win at Nou Camp. I told Lo about it, he didn't really know about it. He said he watched the match a bit, but he's more interested in the score. Only Steward really watch soccer. He supported Real Madrid.

Out of nowhere, they came to my workplace, asked me if i wanted a lift home. With my heck care attitude, I said, "Ya udah!" (ok lor). Tommy said that the wind was very strong outside and they would be in the computer lab. I just nodded and continued vacumming the floor. Well, they wanted to gimme a lift, why not?

Anyway, Tommy asked me if I wanted to go home or go to their place. of course I wanted to go home! He also asked if I had eaten. Then, before I alight, he told me that they will be going to OKC tmr and asked if I wanted to go. I said, "no" and quickly alight. Honestly, I do want to go to OKC to buy some asian food, but I don't feel like going with them, and I don't know if they really want me to go or not. I kinna waiting for ani n ana to come so that I have companion. All the way home, only Tommy talked to me. I don't know if he really care, but I still feel sore. I'm quite sure that when I alight, they would talk about me, especially the twins. They will say, they asked me already, it's just that I didn't want to go. Besides, I bet they wouldn't want me to go with them. If they really want me to go, they would have asked earlier and asked why I didn't want to go.

Anyway, I plan to mug the whole day tomorrow. Exams are coming!!! If anything, I at least will have my academic records to be proud of.

Typhon is coming!!! The wind was so strong it blew away my potted plant :(

It's Lilly-Ella Gerrard's birthday. Yup, she's Gerrard's first daughter. She turns 3 this year. Happy Birthday!!! She could have shared the same birthday as me, but she chose to "come out" on the 23rd instead. Lol.

Yesterday was Boonsak's birthday!

Happy birthday to everyone whose birthday is in Februaray. February babies rulez! :P

I was so clumsy at work last night. I was mopping the floor. The mop was rather heavy. while lifting it from the pail, the mop entangled with the handle, and the pail tripped over. Water was everywhere!!! One-third of the kitchen was flooded. I was more embarrased rather than panic. Well, I manged to get it as "dry" as possible, but the floor was rather dirty. Yuki helped me a little. Luckily, only Yuki saw how flooded the floor was, the rest of the people only saw it after I get most of the water.

I was really really really happy that Liverpool beat Barcelona, it's as if Liverpool has won the CL again. But the battle is only half-won. Go Liverpool.

It sucks big time not being able to talk about the match. I called my dad after the match. But that as much discussion I had :( I missed watching the match in the wee hours, waking my mum and sis up with my shouts when Liverpool won :P Then, I would go to school happily, and teased all those people who doubted Liverpool. I missed those days. I asked Yuki if he watches soccer, he said he watched a little, but he doesn't really know Barcelona! Anyway, I told him how happy I was for half a minute, and then back to work. In the past, I would be happy all day long!!! Talking non-stop about the feat, especially to A kwa! Haha....

Oh, I talk to A kwa on msn just now. He didn't watch the match, he said Liverpool matches are boring. Whatever, Man U fan! He said he send me a B'day card, I won't believe him until I receive it. He always tricks me with his lies!!!

Phew! Ronaldinho missed the freekick. I hate the cameraman. He's building the anticipation by zooming on Ronaldinho then Reina, Reina, Ronaldinho... I was shouting, "hurry up! Kick the ball!!!"

Another close shave! Saviola nearly scored (I screamed in fright). Reina palmed it away, but it's not over. Messi kicked the ball.... but didn't find the net.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!! Riise scored! Liverpool's in the lead!!!!!!!!!!!! Gerrard passed perfectly to Kuyt. He missed it. Bellamy received the rebound, saw Riise, passed and Riise slam the ball into the net!

Barcelona tried to come back. No chance for it!

Liverpool won!!! Liverpool BEAT Barcelona at Camp Nou!!! It's not a dream!!! It's a reality!!!

Anfield awaits!

My excitement was replaced by disappointment when I saw the scoreline at the 25th minute. Deco has scored a goal in the 14th minute. I screamed, but glad not to have seen that goal.
The pain would be more excruciating! Bellamy nearly scored. I cringed as he headed the ball outside the post. What a perfect opportunity to get back into the game! Nonetheless, he made up for it. He headed another one after receiving a perfect pass from (who else) Steven Gerrard! Valdes caught the ball... not in time to prevent it from crossing the goal line. Liverpool scored!!!! I wanted to jump, I wanted to scream, I'm so happy. At least the Reds scored a goal against the supposedly best team in the world! Yeah!!! Half-time: Barca 1-1 Liverpool. Go liverpool!!! Keep the score! Don't let Barca came back!

It's tomorrow!!!

Liverpool vs Barcelona!!!

I wish for miracle to happen, but deep down, I know Barca will trash Liverpool. *sigh* the night in Istanbul will never happen again, not this soon, I think. But still, I hope Liverpool will at least manage a draw, but it's Camp Nou (or Nou Camp) they're playing in!!! All the best Reds! You'll Never Walk Alone!!!

Liverpool training at Camp Nou

I'm officially older by a year now!!! NO cake. I don't like the walmart cake, and I don't know if there's anywhere else to buy cake.

I want to thanks my family for the calls!

I want to thanks REN and Jac very much for their clips. Thanks Ren for making 3 versions of birthday songs. They're all equally good!!! But if i've to choose, i like the third one. U and ur "soprano" voice. Haha... Helped start my day! And jac, thanks for your video. It makes the rest of my day even better!!! Yeah, I'm a year younger than u thought!!! Nonetheless, I'm really touched and thankful for u to make those clips. You totally made my day!!! Love u both!!! And my family too, of course!!!

Come to think of it, I did have a very early b'day celebration last year, on the day before I left S'pore! A "farewell" cake becum a birthday cake! Thanks for e early celebration, guys!

I've told them. I felt somewhat better to finally able to get this off my chest. I just hope that i don't make them worry about me even more.

Why does it seem to be my fault? Why is it that despite being the one who's hurt, I seem to be the guilty party? Why do I have to be the one who give way? Why does it seem as if i'm asking for this? Whatever it is, I have me! I can survive on my own! I will make more friends, I will take care of myself, so I don't need you all to worry about me! I don't need them! I won't kiss their asses just so that they would do things for me. I'm hurt and unhappy, and I dont' want to pretend as if nothing happen. I'm not a good actor, otherwise, I would go to Hollywood!

oh, i just checked my msis result. Yeah, I screwed it up. I got a C!!! :( Should have studied the textbook! From now on, I will make sure I studied the textbook till i know every single word in it! well, may be not all. It's a torture for a person who's not computer savy, who's not interested in computer parts, to study computer!!! But i will do well. I will get an A for this subject or I would be letting myself down!!! I did well in my sciences at O lvl, so I can do this too!!!

Today, New Year's Eve. It's supposed to be a day for reunion dinner. Reunion dinner I did not have, but I didn't have dinner alone. I had dinner with my fellow part-time workers at the pizza restaurant. Oh, and I got a Hello Kitty "red packet" from Asagi! (insert below) Haha...




It began with me asking Asagi if Japanese celebrate Lunar New Year. As it turned out, Japanese don't celebrate it. We talked and then at some point, I told him that during Chinese New Year, the children would get a red packet with money inside. He excitedly told me that he also gets "red packet" (the packet is not red in color, u see) with money inside during NEw Year (Jan 1) which the japanese celebrates. He reached for his wallet, and took out some stuffs and then he found the "red packet" that his grandmother gave him for the new year. Of course, there's no more money inside. HE gave it to me. I opened it and "demanded" for money. He gave me a penny which of course I rejected. He let me keep the HEllo Kitty "red packet", and told me to put money in it myself :( Then, Lo (the student supervisor, who's from Hong KOng) saw me holding the "red packet". I told him that it's my first "Red packet" for the year! I made a sad face saying that there's no money in the "red packet". I asked him for some money. Again, I was given a penny (which i turned down, again!). Anyway, I wished Lo "Gong Hei Fat Choi"! And asked for a red packet from him. He gave a typical answer, " I'm not married yet!"

Oh, Yoshi (the jap guys who used to be housekeeper too) started working at Pistol Pizza today. Talk about reunion! We caught up a little, but most of the time, he taked to his fellow countrymen.

That's how my first Chinese New Year's Eve in US went. Well, at least I have a "red packet"! Thanks, Asagi!


P.S. I talked to Lo about Gerrard!!! He doesn't know who Steven Gerrard is!!!! He played soccer, but didn't really watch it. I told him, that he knows who steven gerrard is now and he better remember it! Haha... I was bored, and I haven't been psychoing people about liverpool and gerrard the way i psycho jac, ren, and monica. Haha... I miss those days!

After weeks of being left out, I was suddenly remembered. Oh, how thoughtful! All of the sudden, I exist! Told me not to go to work, to go to okc for a dinner (or smt). Yeah, if I was informed a week ahead, I would go (well, may be. I'm still sore, my wound have yet to heal, by the way), but a few hours before? I could not just call tmr and said, "sorry, I can't work today, i've emergency!" What emergency? Erm... Besides, I still have to attend a compulsory meeting tmr morning!
If I was remembered earlier, a week or a few days earlier, I would discuss this with my supervisor, and work things out. But a few hours ahead? I can just be irresponsible and didn't go to work or the meeting, but I don't want. It's just not right! It's just not me! Moreover, who will I be having a "reunion dinner" with? A group of people who I don't know and who have not been acknowledging my existance... Not forgetting, I'm still in the middle of a cold war.

Should I tell them? I wanted to tell them, but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. I don't want to blow up the whole matter. I don't want to complicate matter. But I wanted to tell them so much. I really do, but each time, I hold back. I'm worried. I'm confused...

... I told myself, it's better not to tell them... yet. I may tell them one day...perhaps. But not now.

A lonely Chinese New Year.... a lonely Birthday!

Happy Chinese New Year to everyone (except me)!!!!

I think I screwed my msis exam yesterday. Most questions came out from the textbook and I only read throught it once. I read the slides, but apparently, they're rather useless.

Working on Thrusday night was the worst decision I've made this semester! I was so tired today. I was so tired that I handed the wrong thing for my english class and I couldn't remember what I gave to the teacher. *sigh*

Talking of exam, here's what Gerrard did on his GCSEs.

"I sat in the exam hall thinking hard over one important question: exactly how I would burn my uniform. The clock showed barely an hour before I sprinted out the room. I have never run so quick to a bus-stop. I wanted to get back to Ironside, get into my normal clothes, ditch my uniform... " How did your exam go?" Mum asked. "Yeah, fine," I replied, knowing I had done shite. I handed her my uniform. "Just pop that in the bin, please, Mum." A new uniform awaited me: Liverpool FC."

I was LMAO when I read the bolded parts! Well in the end, he really did shite, I must say, a C in English, six Ds and two Es! At least he's good a something-- football!

I'm beginning to dislike going to classes. Sooo boring. As soon as I sat down for my first class of the day, I can't wait to go home. Yeah, I could choose not to attend class, but I've paid for the tuition, and if I didn't go to class, I wouldn't know what's going on and it didnt' help that I didnt' really know anyone in my classes. I miss the old days at Zhss.

U know having a guy in the house it's really not an advantage. Well, if that guy is a father and may be brother ( a brother of mine better be) , yeah, they would be useful.
I called home more and more often now. I'm really really homesick. With Chinese New Year and my birthday coming, I miss my family even more. I want to go home :(

Stomachache... I guess I won't be going for the meeting at 3pm. Well, I did give a thought of going there, although I would feel like a fish out of the water, not knowing anyone there. But my stomach is killing me!!! But I still find way to blog. Heh, I wanted to talk about Gerrard!

And about work yesterday. There weren't many customers. Although I didn't really like it, I think it's better than having too much orders! Anyway, I talked more to Asagi. We talked about chinese characters and Japanese. He told me that there's 3 types of characters used in Japanese words. One is Chinese, I don't really know how to say the other two, but one set is for the direct translation of English words based on their sound. So this set of words has no meaning, just sounds. He wrote a set of words for my name :D
The other set is the usual Japanese characters. He also told me that his name Asagi consist of only 1 chinese character- cai (cai hong de cai), and it's not a common Japanese name and many Japanese don't what that is and how it is pronounced. Interesting!

Steward worked for 10 hours again. HE said he's working for 10 hours every Saturday. Crazy! When he saw me writing some chinese characters, he snatched my pen and drew some kindergarten standard drawing--- tv, people, boat, house-- and said that they're chinese characters! Well, for the record, he knows how to write people or human (ren) in chinese. He's a vietnamese. He taught me a vietnamese word - xin chao- means hello or hi! There's another funny thing. Yuki brought a cd, he wanted to write Avril Lavigne on it. Instead, he wrote "Averil Rubbin?" Haha... Becky saw it and asked him if he meant "Avril Lavigne". Then both of us laughed.

10 more days to Liverpool vs Barcelona!!! I can't wait! I really hope that the connection is smooth and I would be able to watch it online!

Time for another excerpt from Gerrard's autobiography

Born to be Red

"Cut my veins open and I bleed Liverpool red." --- I love this sentence. It's such a power message, it filled me with awe and I could felt Gerrard's love and passion for Liverpool. It's a perfect sentence to be used by any die-hard Liverpool fan. I don't think I am qualified to say that yet. I'm crazy about Liverpool, but not that crazy. My friends may beg to differ, but seriously, I am considered sane compared to the real die-hard fan!

continuing...

A close shave

" My career was nearly destroyed before it started. All my dreams of starring for Liverpool and England, of lifting European Cupts and shining in World Cups, rested on the skill of a surgeon when I was only nine... Agony. Total agony. My foot hit something. Jesus, the pain was merciless. I nearly had a heart attack. I fell down, screaming for help. In my career I've had smashed metatarsals and torn groins, but honest to God, I have never felt pain like this. Like poison from a needle, it shot up my shins...I looked down and couldn't believe my eyes. A garden fork was embedded in my big toe... I heard the doctor say, 'The fork is rusty, there's a chance of gangrene. We might have to take the toe off to stop any gangrene spreading.' 'Wait,' Dad intervened. 'Steven plays football, you must speak to Liverpool before you do any operation. They must know what is going on.'My dad quickly called Steve Heighway, Liverpool's Academy director...'No, you are not bloody well taking his toe off,' Steve told them... The surgeon numbed he whole foot and tugged the fork out. The hole was huge, as big as 20p coin and an inch and a half deep. It was a mess, but at least the surgeon saved my toe and my career... The one half-decent thing about the accident was that I missed three weeks of school. The doctors insisted, so who was I to argue! School sent homework round but it never get done. No chance..."

Every child hates school, no?

If Gerrard lost his toe, he might not make it to be a footballer, and I might not support him. I may be crazy about some other footballer. May be Michael Owen. I don't know. But what a tragic accident for a nine-year-old to go through. It makes me admire Gerrard even more!

Liverpool lost 2-1 to newcastle. I think Steven Taylor dived. I saw the contact that he and Riise made, but the way he fell was so exaggerated! But penalty was awarded anyway and as Solano sent Reina the wrong way, Newcastle took the lead. Liverpool made more attempt on the attacks, but to no avail :(

I've been reading Gerrard's autobiography. It's funny yet inspiring. I will give u an except in my entry every now and then.

" As my car inches passt the Memorial, I looked down the names of those who fell on the Leppings Lane End, never to rise again. My eyes stop at one mane. Jon-Paul Gilhooley, ten years old, the youngest of htose who never came home from Sheffield... I knew Jon-Paul. He was my cousin... Jon-Paul adored Liverpool with the same fervour that fills me whenever I pull on that red shirt. We were so alike.... Whenever I saw Jon-Paul's parents during my Youth Trainee Scheme days at Anfield, it gave me an extra determination to suceed. Just before I made my Liverpool debut, they said, 'Jon-Paul would be so proud of you.' During that match, I felt Jon-Paul was looking down on me, pleased I was fulfilling a dream we both shared... It breaks my heart every day just to think Jon-Paul is not here any more... I have never let anyone know this before, but it's true: I play for Jon-Paul."

How is it feel to be left out?

It sucks big time. It makes you feel as if you're alone in this world with no one to depend on except yourself. It makes you cry. It makes you wonder if your decision was right. It makes you want to go home to your family and friends because they're the ones (perhaps the only ones) who loves you, care about you and won't leave you out of their plan. I hate those feelings, but those are what I am experiencing right now. I am sorry to those people whom I have left out before. Sorry for my ignorance and insensitivity. I will remember the desolated feelings so that I won't leave anyone in my plan (not if it is for revenge)!

I'm so happy :D I finally received Gerrard autobiography that I've ordered!!! I'll treat it as an early Birthday present for myself :D I'm so over the moon. I know that by the time I read the book ,the content would be rather irrelevant with the time, but better late than never.

Here's the front and back covers of the book sitting on my bed

England lost 1-0 to Spain. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be happy or sad, but I found myself smiling when I saw the score :P Yeah, gerrard played, but it's just a friendly match, so not that much of an importance, no?

Nothing much happen in school. Oh, I met Steward. HE also worked in Pistol Pizza. It's the first time I met my collegues outside the restaurant. I didn't see him at first, but he waved and said "Hi!" to me. I asked him why he was sitting on the floor. He answered that he liked it. Haha... He's a little weird. Last Saturday, he worked for 10 hours! And he's always pulling the food from the oven early. Dunno y. Got back Econ exam. I did well!!! Yeah, so happy for myself!

Chinese New Year is coming. I want to get ang pao, eat all the chinese new year snacks!!!! To add salt to my wound, my birthday, first "non-teenage" b'day falls on the second day of Chinese New Year!!! I could use this to get double ang pao, right? But I'm here not there :(
I really don't know how I'm going to celebrate my b'day. Most prob, i won't be celebrating it. May be I will just buy a small cake for myself or treat myself to a nice meal! I have to be good to myself since others aren't

just came back from my first ever spanish lesson. It's a very small class, and I mean really small, only 5 people attended. Anyway, I learnt a few spanish vocab. La papa--- potato. I thought it means father. Haha... Well, father is Papa(cap. P). There's this catchy word-- quita cuticula (pronounce: kita kuticula). It means cuticle remover. I didn't know such thing exists!!! I guess there's more than spanish that I learnt tonight :D

Anyway, a new chapter of history took place in liverpool fc. Liverpool is now officially belongs to American businessmen George Gillett and Tom Hicks. Hicks: 'I had obviously heard of Liverpool but once I had a chance to read about the 118 years of history, the 18 league championships, the bleak years in the 1930s and 40s through to the 60s and then the tragedies of the 1980s, I was just awe-struck by what this community has done, it is very, very special.' ( Soccernet.com) A club with a rich history--- that's liverpool!!! But I hope they won't sell the naming rights of the new stadium. Then again, there will only be one Anfield. (And I want to go there before liverpool 'moved house'!!!)

I wonder if Liverpool will come to US one day. I mean their new owners are americans!!! If they do, I will go to the state where they visited , by then, I should be able to speak some spanish and can impress Rafa. Haha... Of course, I want to meet Gerrard too!!! May be I should bring a magazine or two from Singapore with gerrard in the cover so I could ask him to sign it.

"Talking is so overrated"--- Grey's Anatomy. I agree!!! Silence is golden. Anyway, we've been giving each other cold shoulders. If he's (they're) not going to talk to me, then I won't. Even if they do, I will ignore them. Otherwise, would they think about me, the emotional hurt they've put me thru???? Whatever! I'm enjoying the time when i won't be bugged about school work :D

I've been thinking of taking Spanish lesson. I've asked and there's a lesson this evening. I will go n see. It's good to learn new things, no? Besided, if I want to work in US, it would be better to know some Spanish with many Mexicans here. I have nothing to do in the evening too. I also wanted to take Craft class, but clash with my lesson time :( I'm thinking of taking Korean class. Then, I could understand korean drama and what jj n glorick talk about ;P

There's also cultural night coming and the indonesian association were asking for people to participate. Finally, I received their email. I didn't get any of it last semester. Anyway, they're thinking of putting up a fashion show, singing session and an angklung performance (and dancing too i think). I'm interested in the angklung, but I'm a little reserved, caused i'm not very good with musical instrument, that's y I always hated music lessons!!! I definitely won't dance. I can't seem to be able to remember dance routines well. Enuf of dancing from TJ's orientation. No more please!!! I don't know. I want to join, but....

I've been complaining about my cousins in my previous blog. Sorry if it bores u readers ( I wonder who read my blog). Anyway, I just want to vent out my anger.

My hometown was flooded. IN some part, the water is as high as 2 m. My dad nearly couldn't go to s'pore. I'm glad he made it there safely. Floods were a common occurance in jakarta. Part of my childhood memories were about playing in the flood- folding paper boats and let it sailed on the murky water, catching tadpoles or small fishes, splashing water. Another common occurance was blackout! I wouldn't say that i missed them, but floods and blackouts brought the whole family together!

I'm trying to study for my econ exam. I'm struggling with the concept of opp. cost. Sometimes I get it, but sometimes I don't. I just hope that i would have sufficient time to finish the paper and not make a careless mistake. This makes me rethink if I really want to study economics. I'm taking stats, too and I really enjoy stats. It's like maths! I wonder what stats major do.

Liverpool drew in a derby!!!! And it's played at Anfield!!! Wanted to watch but woke up late :P

Oh, here, they called a derby "Bedlam". Don't know why.

I went to play racquetball with JJ and Glorick last night. Wanted to play badminton, but the court was booked. So JJ suggested racquetball. They taught me how to play it, it's hard. I was afraid the ball might hit me!!! Haha...And i had to run all over the court to chase the ball. So tiring. When I reached home, Sung was already home. He asked me where i went to. I told him that I was having fun with JJ and Glorick( without him!!!) I couldn't really tell if he's disappointed, but I hope he was. Next time, when he and the twins had "fun" at okc, he would know what it's like to be left out!!!

He told me that the twins told him that it's dangerous to drive in the highway for the first time alone. I agree. But what angered me is that they did not say that because they're really worried, more like not wanting to be left out when we go to okc or want to go to okc when THEY like it. And sung asked me to call in sick on sat. This time, I raised my voice and told him, why don't u call in sick on fri and then we go on fri and then we could stay there overnight???

They called last night. I think they're planning to go out today. I don't care!!!! I had my way to get back at them. You know, they (the whole family) cared more about S and really helped him, but not me. TAke helping to ask for a job for example. I don't know why(may be got to do with them being closer with his family) Anyway, I got my job now by my own. At least I could be proud of that!!!

I tried not to cry. I chose to come here. Even my dad suggested for me to choose other better university to go to. But I was afraid to be alone. Now, I would rather be alone than being surrounded by them.

I'm watching Let It Shine on youtube. I miss S'pore drama. Seeing the HDB flats, schools and shopping centers, gave me a nostalgic feeling. I think the show is quite nice. But would a teacher be such a busy body like the character Felicia Chin's playing in real life? I don't think so. I think a teacher should be able to draw a line and not meddle too much with his or her students personal life. May be I should ask Deng lao shi about this.

So my cousin's got a car, but then the twins and him (but mostly is the twins) ganged up and bully me!!! I've got to work on Sat, and they prefer to go to okc on Sat. I was really mad!!! They asked me to call in sick and not to go to work! To think they're my cousins and share some DNA with me!!! I won't do that (if I still work in the hotel, may be). I would rather spent my Sat at the restaurant kitchen, earning money. Why must I accomodate them? Why can't they be more accomodating towards me?
If they're going to be a bunch of jerks, I can be a total bitch too!!! And bitch bites! (don't know what jerks are capable of). I bear grudge! You offend me, I will remember it and when the time comes, u will get ur retribution (from me)!!! Irritating!!!

Just came back from work. I enjoyed my time at work today. It's not busy today. I think many students went home for the weekend, hoping for the snow to get big and hence school will be cancelled on monday, i guess. But no such luck! There's a basketball game being played at night, but surprisingly there weren't many people patronizing before the game. Not sure with after the game, cause i was resting at home :P Basically, I was slacking around, chatting and joking with Bishan, Becky, and Yuki. There were more people today than last week- 2 more than last week. And with few orders, some of us were like staring in the space. Well, ok, only me and Bishan had nothing to do :P I don't know. It's just happened that everyone else seemed to be doing something- sweeping the floor, taking our the trash, washing the dishes, tending the cash register... I couldn't find anything to do. Anyway, Bishan told me that today was his last day working there as he has found a new job. I guess Saturday would be rather quiet from next week on without him around.

I just read an article from Soccernet. It tells us why England's prospect of winning European championships and World Cup is very slim in the future.

"There is a problem in the English game, and you won't find it subject to a Panorama investigation, or an FA disciplinary panel. The real dirty secret of English football is the lack of young English talent cultivated from the clubs' Academy systems. Forget 'bungs', TV replays and diving debates, if there is a crisis in the game that needs to be sorted first, this is it.
Looking down a list of Academy graduates currently playing in the Premiership makes painful reading. There are always stand-out cases: John Terry, Paul Scholes, Ledley King and Steven Gerrard spring to mind, and granted, they are exceptional talents. The trouble is, everywhere else, the next Terry or Gerrard aren't getting the opportunity to prove themselves because of an influx of continental youngsters.

Out of the 20 Premiership teams (and around 600 players), there are fewer than 50 young English players who have made the step up from Academy to first-team. Some teams have even fielded a squad without a single English presence. .....

....Not good omens for the future of England's national team, although the entertainment that these players bring to the Premiership goes some way to repairing the damage. Who can honestly say they'd rather see Kieran Richardson in United's midfield, rather than Cristiano Ronaldo? Francis Jeffers in place of Thierry Henry? I think not.

Yet we pay a price for having such talented foreign players in the league. Crowds may be on the up, TV deals through the roof, but if English players can't even compete against our continental cousins for squad places, how will they manage when the next European championships or World Cup rolls around?

Even with a dreadful record from the spot, England can only hope it goes to penalties, at least you can't teach that. "

As for me,I will most probably won't be supporting England when Gerrard retires from international football. But I will always support Liverpool with or without Gerrard!!!

Liverpool signed 16-year-old Swede Astrit Ajdarevic, and a couple other players whom I don't know. I just hope that the young signings would be able to improve under Benetiz and his assistants and bring liverpool to another level in the future.

I just finished watching One Litre of Tears (1リットルの涙, Ichi Rittoru no Namida). It is a Japanese television drama for Fuji Television about a girl who was diagnosed with a disease called Spinocerebellar Degeneration when she was 15 years old, and was able to continue her life until her death at the age of 25 years old. The plot is based on the true story of a Japanese girl named Aya Kito ( July 19, 1962 - May 23, 1988), who had the same disease. She kept writing in her diary to remember her experiences until she could no longer hold a pen. Aya simply wished to live until the end of her life, and the purpose of writing in the diary was to remind herself to not give up. She shed tears many times, at the same time encompassed by the rich love and support from her family and friends. Her diary 1 Litre of Tears was published shortly before her death. It encouraged many people, healthy or diseased, because of its inspiring and courageous messages. As Aya wrote, "Just being alive is such a lovely and wonderful thing." (Wikipedia)

The show was very touching. It kept making me cry. I think I cried for every episode. It's so sad yet inspiring. Thomas recommended me this show. Indonesia plagiarized this show by producing "Buku Harian Nayla" (Nayla's Diary). However, the production house didn't state that the story was adapted from "One Litre of Tears" and they claimed that it was their own production. Surprisingly though, Fuji TV did not comment on this.

It's snowing now. Why does it snow on Saturday this past 2 weeks? I still have to go to work!!! I don't know if Sung is willing to drive me to work. Yup, he finally got his car. On Thursday, work was boring. There's only 4 of us working and most of them are way senior than me. So we didn't really talk much. It's better on Saturday, I think, at least there's Becky and Bishan. Then there's this Jap girl who's a junior. She's the one who taught me how to put the ingredients and stuffs on my first day of work and she's working on Thursday too for about 8pm. I don't really like her. I feel that she's rather impatient with me. I mean I'm still unsure of what i was supposed to do. I was assigned to cut the sandwiches. So when there's no sandwiches to cut, I was unsure if i should help the others making pizza or not. Some people don't like to be helped so being a newbie, I don't really want to offend my senior. But apparently, the Jap girl taught that I was not initiative enough and said to me coldly," you can help him make pizzas if you have nothing to do". I don't know if that's the way she talks to other people. Anyway, at least this job was so much better than the housekeeping job! But for some reason, i feel that i learnt more things being a housekeeper. I learnt how to make the bed the hotel style, cleaned bathroom( i've never cleaned bathroom till I got the job!), and interact with some of hotel guests. For this job, true I learnt how to make pizza, but the dough was pre-prepared and all i have to do was to put sauce, cheese, and the ingredient together.

Tired leg and backache.

That's what I got for standing for six hours. But I like my new job better than the housekeeping job. I went to work at Pistol Pizza yesterday. The people are friendly, we chatted and joked around. I learnt how to prepare pizzas and sandwiched and how to cut them (and wrap the sandwiches). It's not that difficult. They have prepared the dough for the pizzas,so all I have to do was to put the sauce, cheeze and other ingredient on it. And i got to eat free pizza and sandwich. I'm gonna try the cheese stick next week. I made mistake with the order. A customer wanted cheese fries, but i gave her cheese stick. Luckily, she didn't come back to complain :P I'm not sure what Thursday will be like, but i hope it is as good or even better than Saturday.

Sung bought a car alr. But he won't get the car till next week. Yeah!!! But i hope he and Tomtom won't gang up and bully me--- go to okc or tulsa on Saturday!!! I got to work on Sat. But i doubt it. Bullying me is their speciality! To think we are kin, sharing some DNA.

I also went to the new Walmart. It's so much better than the other one. It has more variety of food, especially asian food. It also has tofu!!! Haha... Havent' eaten it for a few months now.

oh, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAC!!! sorry a day late.

I will be starting my new job today. From afternoon till night. :( But I have no choice. The only shift left was late afternoon till night. I really hope that Sung would really buy a car today. Then I can ask him to fetch me. If he buys a car, he will be happy, I will be happy, everyone will be happy. So it's not just my being selfish!

I'm glad there isn't any snow yet. I hope it continues at least till tonight. Otherwise, how am I going to go to work and come back??? I'm rather nervous. I hope everyone is welcoming towards me and I hope I will do okay for my first day.

Liverpool BEAT Chelsea 2-0!!! Kuyt and Pennant scored. Pennant's goal from 30yr was so beautiful.

Finally after 2 continuous defeat against arsenal!!!

The roads are covered in ice. I'm sure u could skate on the road! I hate it!!! I thought snow on the roads was bad enough, but this is definitely worse!!! Luckily, I didn't fall down. I hope my luck will continues till all the ice melts.

*sigh* i wish i have good friends here. I have some friends, but we are not that close. They are more than acquaintances, but not as close as friends should be. I miss having friends around to talk to, go out with, do things togehter. And with such a cold weather, it would be nice to have friend, at least one, who could warm my day. Whenever I saw a group of people talking together while waiting for bus, it reminded me of my zhss days. If I could turn back the time, I would talk with people more often. I would be more outgoing. I realized that I've never really watch a movie or go out with my classmates, except for class gathering. *sigh* I tried to be more daring and talk to persons sitting beside me in the class sometimes, but we usually just exchange a couple of words and then silence. I really don't know how to strike and/or maintain a conversation :(

My dad always asks if i have friends and if I wanted to transfer to another school which have more indonesian students. But i told him that i'm ok. WEll, i am ok. Yeah, i don't really have a friend, and my cousins are so disappointing (not up to my expectations in terms of the way they should treat me!!! I treat them nicely ok!) , but moving to another place means starting all over again. I just settled in here and i don't want to move to another place and have to adjust to the environment all over again. Besides, I don't think i need Indonesians as friends. Of course it would be nice to have people of the same nationality as you. But my problem is. I prefer to have a Singaporean friend. I feel that this is largely due to the fact that majority of my friends are s'porean and I have been living a singaporean lifestyle, speaking the singapore way. I could easily pass as a singaporean. I feel uncomfortable talking to "fellow" indonesians actually. I could understand them, but I could not really converse in bahasa indonesia as fluently as I used to. I've speaking english (or singlish) and mandarin most of the time, even with my parents. My bahasa indonesia (oral) is very rusty now. So, I think whenever i talk to any indonesian, i become very self-conscious. I don't want to make a fool or embarrassed myself- an Indonesian who doesn't know how to speak bahasa indonesia properly. Language have a huge impact in building a friendship.

All i'm asking for is a friend whom i could click with and hopefully share the same perceptions about life in general. This would definitely makes the next three or four years of my life more cheerful (i'm hoping it would be 3yrs cause i can't wait to move to another city. Then, my bro n sis can come and join me. Stillwater or Oklahoma is just so boring. I wanted to go to chicago. Uni. of Chicago, I heard, has a good business sch. I've given up hope in going to my dream uni- Stanford. But i can't help but wonder aft graduating from OSU, will I miss stillwater? I hope I won't. But I think I know what the answer will be :( ) Anyway, back to friend issue. I'm still looking for the right friend (sounds like I'm looking for a bf. haha... well, as a matter of fact, i'm keeping a look out for one. But if i can't even have a proper friend, what chance do i have for finding a bf?)

I watched a show called "To Be Fat Like Me". It's a show about how obese people are treated- discriminated, teased at and looked down upon. I kinna understand how it feels. I'm not that fat, by that i mean is that i'm not obese. I was overweight (i think i will soon gain my weight again though). I was one of the fattest girl in class. I had to go to tuft (i don't even know how to spell it) club every morning. It's very embarrassing to have to job around school with other students looking at you. I'm just glad those days are over. Well, the fat people have it worse here in usa, I would say. I think i would be laughed at too if i went to a high school here. An insightful show!

I'm watching the Golden Globe now. Angelina Jolie looked so pissed! Jay (from america next top model) who are co-hosting the E! red carpet show said that may be it's because she would rather be in third world countries helping the poor kids,and the golden globe is just too extravagant for her. If she didn't feel like coming, then don't come. Don't dampen the ambiance with her foul look (but i don't think she affected the ambiance though, who is she? I don't even think she's a nominee). Anyway, Brad Pitt seemed to work hard making up for jolie's lack of interest. I almost feel that he's actually felt bad that his partner was in a bad mood in the red carpet and trying his best to apologise, only that he didn't really say that. He's just worked his ass (and his jaws) off smiling, entertaining the cameras and press. funny or pathetic? your choice.

It's so unfair that the ladies have to spend so much time putting on make up, wearing beautiful dress (and reavealing) when the men can just appear in a tux. It's hard to be a woman sometimes. But i'm proud to be a woman (or a girl. I'm not a woman yet!).

ice storm...

another snow. Afternoon classes were cancelled and school closed at noon due to the bad weather. But it's not as bad as last november's, and luckily this weekend, I don't have to go to work. I don't want to walk among the snow and fall down again.

It started to snow (well it wasn't exactly snowing, it's more like ice, tiny ice) at around 10am, I guess. I went to school at 9am and when I left for my second lesson at 10.20am, it's already raining. It's really difficult to walk with the ice on the ground and pelting against your face. My 11.30 class was cancelled, so I went home. I had to wait for 20 min for the stupid bus to come. It's soooooooo cold and what's worse was that the bus took another route, so I had to alight quite far from my apt and I had to go against the wind and ice to walk. I was freezing by the time I reached home. My hands and face were numb!!! I hate snow :(

I cooked steak for dinner. It tasted rather good. It's a little bland, but overall, I'm impressed with my cooking :D It's easy. All you have to do is to sprinkle some salt and pepper on both sides of the steak and cooks it on a pan for 8 to 10 min. It's easy and nice!!!

Liverpool lost to arsenal again. The score was 6-3! Yes, my favorite team lost 6-3!!! What the heck? I don't know how they could have lost so badly. Haven't read the match review yet. Don't feel like reading it now. No hope of a silverware this season. *sigh* CL??? Forget it! They can't even beat Arsenal moreover a team like Barcelona.

Anyway. First two days of school as usual, going through syllabus. Boring stuffs, but it's necessary so that if students don't feel they like the subject, they could always drop them. I'm taking phy. and my teacher is an indian. I was a little bit concern about this because i was afraid that he would have a very strong Indian accent and i won't be able to understand what he's talking about. Luckily, the way his speak is clear and understandable :D Then, for english, there's lots of japanese in my class. There're 3 american students who took the wrong class. The class is for international students and they selected the wrong class for some reason. I found that funny cause it's stated clearly that this section is for INternational students and they still could make this mistake. Then for stats, I have a very interesting teacher who is very chang qi. She likes to talk and she really talks a lot. Haha... There's a student who has hearing difficulties and there's a "sign language interpreter" (or whatever he's called) that helps him translate what the teacher is saying (i wonder if he really translate everything that the teacher said cause she really talked a lot of things, and many were actually quite nonsensical) It's really interesting.

I will have computer lessons. learning how to use microsoft office and stuff. Yeah , u may think that it's easy, but for people who are not computer savy, like me, it's a little daunting. I hope I will do fine for this lesson.

I still can't believe liverpool lost 6-3!!!

Our Greatest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?

Actually, who we are to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are born to make manifest the glory of Goad that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson

A "simplified" version was featured in the movie Coach Carter.

3-1 to Arsenal :( First time Liverpool lost at home since march 8!!!

I've got to say that despite losing, Liverpool played rather well. However, their biggest mistake in this match was their defense. Poor defending lead to the three goals by Arsenal, especially the 2nd and 3rd. The first goal by rosicky was well put. It's a nice goal, I had to admit though bitterly. Dudek was bad!!! He looked rusty in front of the goal. The third goal by henry, I felt that Dudek should be able to block it if his agile and alert enough. ANd Gerrard. He can't be defender. A striker may be but not a defender. He was in front of rosicky when he put those 2 goals into the net. But instead of blocking the ball, he just dodged it. Disappointing to see, especially when this comes from your favorite player. Carra did have to be blamed for Henry's goal, but he tried to block henry.

Well, at least the Reds managed to put one in for pride sake. Kuyt was at the right place at the right time to head Crouch's header.

Overall, it's an exciting match marred by poor defending by Liverpool.

Revenge is on in the Carling Cup!!! Go Liverpool!!!

I actually wanted to play badminton, but colvin center was closed :(

On the way back, sung and I met a guy, called Mark. He could speak Bahasa Indonesia well!!! He said that he had lots of indonesian friends and had visited indo many times. His friends are famous singers like Ruth Sahanaya and many other musicians. Well, I'm kinna apprehensive talking to him. I mean I don't really know who he is, and he stays in University Apartment when he's not a student or professors at OSU. So, it's a little weird, right? He wanted us to give him his contact no. I gave him my sch email (I hope he would lose the paper n not email me or worse call me). I mean, I don't know who he is and he waited for us to approach the traffic light to talk to us. I think he was 5 meters in front of us. I was so glad I wasn't walking alone!!! Creepy!!!

I'm having problems booking my ticket online. I only have one name and they required passangers to have first and last names!!! I'm going to add a surname when I go back to indo in the summer. I've had enough! It's so inconvenient to have only one name. Y didn't my parents think of giving me more than one name? Then, I can just use my "middle name" as my last name. Argh!!!

I finally bought a jacket for my mum :D It's a black leather jacket. So, now I don't have to worry about it anymore.

I went to return the jeans I bought as I didn't think it suits me. I was so dissapointed by the attitude of the people in the customer service. The lady was all smile when she attended the person before me (who was buying things) and she was all serious when I said that I wanted to return the jean. 360 degrees change of attitude!!!! I know she's not happy that I return thing I had bought, but couldn't she pretend to be a little friendlier, like asked me why I return the stuffs or u know just be friendly. Come to think of it, I remembered that when I purchase the jeans at the store (JC Penny) the cashier just threw my card on the desk as if my card was a piece of useless paper!!! (hello, that card helped to pay for ur salary!!!) I was shocked at that time, but I think I was too happy to have found a jean and fleece for my sis. So it didn't really bother me. The cashier in the OKC branch was so much friendlier!!!

Talk to my sis on msn last night. She said she missed me, and asked me if I missed her. As usual, I teased her by saying no and told her that my life now was so peaceful without her bothering me :P This was true, it is very peaceful (to the extent of me feeling very lonely :( )Of course i miss my sis n bro n parents. But we aren't used to conveying our emotion openly. And our affection towards one another (the 3 of us) would be shown by us teasing one another. But beneath, we do really care for one another. When my sis asked me if I missed her, I'm very sure she knew that I would answer no. Similarly, if I asked her if she missed me, she would definitely say no. The same goes with my bro. That's us!

Liverpool vs Arsenal tmr. I hope liverpool can win. I think FA Cup seemed to be a more plausible option than CL now that they're facing Barcelona :( Of course I wanted them to win against barca and win the CL for the 6th time. But I know better. I will always hope for a miracle. That's what loyal supporters(like me) do! I hope I would be able to watch!!!

And for EPL, it's Man U's to lose. When I told A Kwa this, he said that it's the most sensible thing I've ever said. Haha... Honestly, I would rather Man U win than Chelsea. They're Red (Devil) afterall. I'm a red, so I guess....

Liverpool won Bolton 3-0! After a goalless draw at the firt stoppage time, the Reds bounced bacy with "A stunning Peter Crouch overhead kick, Gerrard's volley and a late goal from Dirk Kuyt gave Liverpool the win at Anfield and lifted them into third place in the Premiership."

Gerrard, who was awarded an MBE in the New Year`s Honours List, told Sky Sports 1: 'It was the perfect start: a home win, three points and a clean sheet and we played some really good football against a decent side. '

Yup, gerrard was awarded with an MBE by Queen Elizabeth!!!! Go Gerrard!!! A perfect start, indeed, but I hope it would lead to a perfect end as well.

Oh, Happy New Year everyone!!!

I went to OKC yesterday. Thank goodness we reached there safely. It rained a little, but luckily everything went on safely. We went to a mall called "Penn Square". Then, we shopped. There's lots of sale from Banana Republic to Express to Dillards. I bought a t-shirt and a jacket from aeropostale. They're having a big sale! I wanted to buy a short, but didn't find one that I like. Also, I'm trying to save up money to spend it when I went back. There'll the Great s'pore sale, and things would be much cheaper. I hadn't found a jacket for my mum yet :( It's either too expensive $200 (didn't bring enuf money) or the designs were ugly! Anyway, I'm just happy that I could leave stillwater for a couple of hour!

Then, we went to Staples. I bought a flash drive for $20!!!

My first day of new year will be spent in this small dull apartment in a quaint city of Stillwater. There weren't any fireworks!!! Well, not near my place :(